So I turn 32 today. Somehow it feels like so much more of a significant landmark in my life than turning 30. 30 just didnt seem to be one of those "landmark" years, you know? I mean, I was already in the groove of teaching, I didnt have anything significant on the radar, I still had two children and didnt know yet that a third was going to be coming along. I was blissfully unaware of the things that were to come. And consequently, I felt like 30 wasn't a big deal.
But this year? This year I learned a lot about myself, about my family, about what stands and what falls by the wayside in hard times. I learned about the things that I could really count on and what was only being carried along for the ride under the guide of "significant".
I am in the midst of a huge personal revelation and it is both hard and frustrating. I dont know yet if I am going to have the personal fortitude to see it through, to be able to suck up the pressures that will invariably come, the tears that will undoubtably be shed.
Personal growth is always one of those "resolutions" that people make in January and while I do not think any less of people who make promises to change but do not create lifestyle changes to see those promises come to fruition. God knows, I was one of *those* people. And perhaps this year I will remain one.
If you are reading, I do not intend to hurt you in this process, but things are different at 32 than they ever were and things are changing to reflect those differences.
I am no longer the same person I was even last year at this time and I dont know that anyone but me really sees that.
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