Holidailies: There's always tomorrow

From Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

There's always tomorrow,
For dreams to come true,
Believe in your dreams
Come what may.

I get frustrated when the kids move slowly--I often ask them to speed up whether it is eating meals, getting dressed, cleaning up, etc. They are sidetracked by other, more appealing, things to do and I just want the job to get done.

But I guess, when I look at myself, I really shouldnt fault them for the way they are because it is the way I am too. Perhaps I am frustrated that they are turning into me. Hours of therapy have showed me that the things I am hardest on the kids for are things that I perceive in myself as problematic and annoying. How on earth is it that I think nagging them will make it better? I dont know.

There's always tomorrow,
With so much to do,
And so little time in a day.

As time wears on the kids grow older and more outspoken with each passing day, I realize more and more that I havent done nearly enough to nurture their hopes and their dreams; I know that I am being hard on myself today but I feel it sharply today that I dont ask them what they want most of the time, that I dont cherish the small conversations we used to have (and dont have as much anymore) and that I havent spent enough time with each one of them.

We all pretend
The rainbow has an end
And you'll be there my friend someday.

There is time yet, perhaps, to turn things around; admitting it is the first step of any process, right? I dont know where the road is going to lead us--the decisions we will make in the near future will affect this road to a huge extent, but our attitude as we set forth will help to make the kids resilient to the changes that are approaching.

There's always tomorrow,
For dreams to come true,
Tomorrow is not far away.

I am nervous. Anxious almost to the point of paralysis and some days I feel like I shouldnt make any decisions in case they turn out to be the wrong ones. But in my head I also know that inertia is also a choice and staying in a place that isnt healthy or positive will never produce healthy or positive emotions in the kids either.

We all pretend,
The rainbow has an end,
And you'll be there my friend someday.

Some people say we can only deal with each day, as it comes, but without a long term idea, I think it will all fall apart. When I married D, I told him that we dont look at our feet when we walk down a path and that one could help the other if they stumbled along the way. I guess I need to stop staring at my feet, since doing so has only led me to resent how I go where I am in this journey. Now that we have reached the end of our old plan, we need to make new ones.


There's always tomorrow,
For dreams to come true,
Tomorrow is not far away.