Purging

I am the type of person who likes to have a handle on things and it doesn't have to be perfect or complete but I need to have some inkling of what to do to wrap my brain around any sort of challenge. Going gluten-free was a mountain and, like any climber, I prepared in stages. No one succeeds in scaling a mountain by throwing themselves against the face of it without being mentally and physically prepared.

The first thing I did was to purge all the gluten I could find in my pantry


We sorted the piles into those that had gluten and those that didn't and created a separate pile for those that were unknown


In the end, we had a relatively large amount of food that we were able to keep (and also a large amount of food that was now "homeless")


Next, I started reading. I devoured all the information I could find online and in the library. I scoured ingredients from health food stores and blitzed grocery stores to see what was available. I was insatiable to know the best way to cope.

But the true test was the food itself. Could I help her forget the sumptuous softness of bread? the crispy joy of cereal? the sultry smell of freshly baked cookies? And it turns out that watching me try was enough for her.

We made bread

and muffins

quesadillas

homemade hamburgers

even pasta

BUT birthday season was upon us and right away the challenge was at the forefront: birthday cake--the penultimate baking glory, worth 364 days of anticipation?


experimenting first with packaged mixes and then going one step further

The learning curve of this mountain is steep and there have been errors already

but it is a labour of love (Julia noticed the heart in the batter right away)

And every day since has been a game of trial and error, of finding new favourites and of leaving behind old ideas. There is nothing easy about this life, no matter how close everything gets. But if it gives my girl back her smile, the sacrifice of every crumb is worth it to me.