The fine balance of Christmas

We dont believe in God at our house. Before you start hurling tomatoes, let me reassure you that we dont believe that there isnt a God, we just arent exactly positive there is one either. So the holidays present somewhat of a logical dilemma. On the one hand, while we want to embrace the other feel-good happy happy Hallmark moments that are part and parcel with three and five year olds and Christmas we dont want to be buying TOO much into the crass consumerism. On the other hand, we dont want to emphasize the "reason for the season" line either. A difficult line to walk that gets more difficult as subsequent years pile onto of one another.

You see, now that a certain five year old is getting older and wiser, she has questions that havent yet been asked and, thus, havent been dodged before. And since we also dont believe in lying to the kids if they ask a stright question, we often answer with a straight answer. No end of hilarity ensues. Questions like "Jesus died a long time ago didnt he?" "Yes, he did" "What happened to Jesus?" get answered by my oh-so anti-organized-religion husband who tosses gems out like "Oh, he gets killed by some guys" which then prompts the question "Why did those bad men kill Jesus?" And I then sing out "Dinnertime!" thus alleviating a somewhat awkward situation. Nevermind that her last thought was that "once you're dead, you stay dead forever and ever like our fish at school who got dead and then was flushed down the toilet." What would I say to that come Easter? Argh.

It is easier this year now that Julia doesnt attend a Catholic school (yeah, she went for one year. We couldnt help it) and isnt fed a daily diet of the Holy Trinity that makes no sense to her. She had finally stopped asking why that man had his arms on an X on the wall and why the lady (Mary) was in a little box (creche?) on the floor but, like a steel trap, she hadnt forgotten about it, just stopped wondering about it aloud, I guess.

My MIL, bless her heart, cough cough, gave us a DVD with the animated story of the first Christmas. We hemmed and hawed about whether or not to let them watch it and then gave in, since we really didnt want to unbalance the forces and put too much emphasis on the Santa list making, gift grubbing, buying end of Christmas. "Mary is Jesus' mommy and Joseph is Jesus' daddy." "Yes" "And Jesus was in Mary's tummy just like Jacob was in your tummy" "Yes" "So why didnt she go to the hospital like you went to the hospital?" "Did I have a special star in the sky too?" "I want one too!" "No me first!" And on and on. It was Christmas at its finest. I was feeling particularly unchristian afterwards.

I think we are afraid in part of how Julia would take to religion, given the right indoctrination. She is by nature someone whom organized religion would hold great appeal. But we'd like her to make her own choices about it, informed ones with little pressure and brimstone threats. Elena I worry less about. At three she has a healthy dose of her father's skepticism that would ward off most of the pressure that comes with choosing a set of religious beliefs.

This is the last year we can unilaterally make these conscious choices for them, I think. In the new year we will be getting a nanny who, like many Filipino nationals, is very religious. I would be absurd to think that having a caregiver who belives in something very fervently will not effect her mannerisms, her vocabulary and her celebrations around the children. And so, I will enjoy grappling with these ideas this Christmas knowing that next year will be a completely different ballgame.