November- Julia

Julia's personality grows stronger with time. She remains sensitive and anxious at times, funny and tender at others. She has developed some angst about how others percieve her--part and parcel with being sensitive in general I think, but has learned some coping mechanisms that help her to phase out what she needs to do for herself and for others to make her life easier. She dotes on her brother and sister and I couldnt ask for a better helper in the house even though we are both headstrong and stubborn.

School is, as ever, something that comes easily for her. She loves the challenges of the school work, finds some of the social aspects more trying but has hit the plateau where friends are beginning to take on agreater and greater importance. She will often tell me that she would rather have stay at home days but I know that without the steady diet of school she will wither. She is starting to read (!) and can tell me what letter sounds string together. Of course, it isnt easy but some days (like some day last week) she will surprise me. We were driving and as we passed the signs byt eh road I could hear her sounding out letters that she could see. Suddenly she said, "Mom! That says PIZZA!" And indeed it did. Pride in herself nearly burst out of the car and helped to give her a much needed self esteem boost. For some reason she always doubts herself and as such we are always trying (not too hard or too much) to make her feel important and relevant and boosted. Praise is such a fine line to walk.

(Sweaters thanks to Aunty Rachel!)

This Christmas I have recently come to understand just what a diferent creature Julia is. She has always been one who collects toys rather than plays with them. That is, she was never a child who had a doll who was the baby and she was the mommy, she didnt create storylines, per se. She would line up evey single animal she owned--some days by size, some days by colour, some days in a random row. But always just lining them up. I worried a bit when she was small just how obsessive she was about them but shrugged it off. When Elena came along and she played in a typical way, Julia would play alongside her, alwmost as though she were learning how to play in this way. But her instinct always led her to simply hoard the toys. And as she grows, her behaviours havent changed, just her discrimination about what she hoards. And that is simply what she does and as difficult as it is for me to come to grips with the fact that she just doesnt do things the way other kids might, there is nothing wrong with it. I shouldnt push her to change and I should embrace her quirks. But its hard and I have a heck of a time admitting it. So, whew, there it is. Baby steps, you know?
Both girls love crafts but Julia takes things to the next level. She wanted no toys this Christmas, but rather wanted Santa to bring her scrapbooking stuff "like moms". It touches me and breaks my heart all at the same time.

We've been having some ongoing issues with the girls in their loft bed--they are unable to fall asleep in bed becuase they want to talk and play and do everything but sleep. We have taken to putting them on the stairs without lecturing or commenting or getting angry since the "get mad" card clearly wasnt working out for us in this particular situation. We have declared that in the next house, they will NOT be sharing a bedroom, nevermind a bed anymore, but, as challeging as it is, somedays I go up to tuck them in and I find this and it makes me want to have them share a room and a bed and stay small like this forever.